Welcome to My Poetry Page!

Hello readers! You've found my poems!

Here is the list of all the rhymes I've written through the years. I write when I'm depressed, thinking too much, hurt, and - in the case of the Harry Potter poems - when I'm giddy. Sometimes, it's because I have certain words in my head that are just screaming to get written. Most of these are about heartbreak, because I'm a drama queen...

For the longest time, these were for my eyes only. I had them all in my little poetry notebook. A few years ago, I've decided to share some of them online, but I've switched homepages a few times and the pages are now gone. I posted some of them on my fave Harry Potter website, Snitchseeker, but became restricted when they decided that we can only post HP related poems. I created some poems based on my 'ships'. Some were based on requests from fellow HP fans who asked me to write based on THEIR 'ships'. There's a couple based on my obsession with a certain character/actor from HP too... *giggles*

Anyway, I've decided to post them all on here. On each page, I've included the 'history' of where, when, and why I wrote each one. Hope you enjoy my work... Here's the list in chronological order (or as close to it as I can remember):

Forbidden Lovers

Say Goodbye

Wrong Love

I Could've Been...

The Tree

Mistake

A Valentine Poem

I Love You, My Friend

Trust

Is This Really Love?

My Obsession, part I - Harry Potter poem

Confined

My Addiction - Harry Potter poem

The Black Death

Nightmare

Words

(untitled)

Obsession, part II - Harry Potter poem

Redundant

Free

Ikaw Pa Rin

Finally - Harry Potter poem

So Close and Yet So Far - Harry Potter poem

I Don't Care - Harry Potter poem

Nothing

You Don't Belong To Me - Harry Potter poem

Broken Dream

The Song, The Feeling

Pretty Brown Eyes - Harry Potter poem

A Sad Farewell - Harry Potter poem

Always In My Heart - Harry Potter poem

Somehow... - Harry Potter poem

Look My Way - Harry Potter poem

Chance - Harry Potter poem

Holding On

How Can I Stay Strong?

How Can I Stay Strong?

I was in love, but not with you
You were in love with someone else too.
But that one night, on summer solstice,
Was the night we had our very first kiss.

I pulled away, knowing it was wrong
Had to push you away, tried to be strong
But I kept thinking about your warm kiss
And that was what started all of this.

Thoughts of you swarmed inside my head
Sleepless nights I had laying on my bed.
Until one day, you decided to let her go
I was the one there, the first one to know.

Ever since then, we started getting closer
I felt like I helped you forget about her
I was there for you, I was there as a friend
We helped each other's heart to mend.

We spend many hours talking on the phone
We talk all day and sometimes all night long
I love the talk, the laughs, and many others too
But most of all, I love just being with you.

I forgot how it was to be really happy
When you came along, it seemed really easy
We were hanging out more than before
I knew I couldn't ask for anything more.

I didn't want my feelings to get involved.
Because once it's there, it cannot be resolved.
At first I refused to believe it was true.
But I couldn't deny it, I've fallen for you.

Even though you say you don't feel the same
I know that your heart is screaming my name.
Every little thing that you say and do
Tells me that you've fallen for me too.

I don't understand why you're holding back
I want to know what it is that I lack.
I know that I have what you're looking for
I can give you what you want and so much more.

Until you realize that the one you want is me
I have to say goodbye, I have to let you be.
How can I move on and do things differently?
When I've gotten used to you being there for me.

I can't keep waiting for you to come around
I have to fight this, have to stand my ground
We've been doing this for far too long
So how do I let go, how can I stay strong?

***********************************************
[HISTORY:
Still about THE BOYFRIEND. I was getting tired, I was ready to let go and just say "F*&# it". I was just a sucka, but I really was ready to move on. But it was HE who didn't want to let me go. So.. the rest is history... Can you believe it's been almost 3 years? My last poem for now... I think I might try Twilight ships next...]

Holding On

I like you more and more each day
Knowing damn well you'll never stay
Knowing damn well it will never be
You'll never feel the same for me.

You might not know, or maybe you do
That every single day, when I talk to you
My feelings for you keep getting stronger
I can't take it, can't help it any longer.

I'll always remember the long hours on the phone
Because of you, I stopped feeling alone.
I stopped mourning for a love that's lost
That's what I thank you for the most.

You made me feel good about who I am
You made me feel like I was a rare gem.
If everything you say about me is true,
Then why won't you let me be with you?

At times, I feel like you're mine
You start showing me every sign
That you want to be more than a friend
So I keep going, I hold on, I pretend.

We both know we've already crossed that line
Between being friends and lovers in time
We might as well continue what we've begun
Please be mine, be my special someone.

Then you go and do something that hurts me
Something that you do unintentionally.
Because you don't know, so I want to stop
I can't do this anymore, I have to give you up.

You have no idea how hard this is for me
I want to say goodbye, just let me be
What hurts more is that it won't affect you
It won't faze you, no matter what I do.

***********************************************
[HISTORY:
Aaaww... this is about THE BOYFRIEND. This is the beginning of our relationship. When I was confused, I didn't know what to think. I tried talking to several people about it, but no one could seem to understand me. I didn't want to fall, I wanted to just be casual about it, no strings attached... but I just had to be a girl, and cling to the idea of "it could/would happen". Luckily, it worked out for me.]

Chance

I heard the word love softly spoken
By the one who made me heartbroken.
Why must you sit there, and only sigh?
Why say you love me, then say it was a lie?

At that Christmas party, you were to go with me
I pictured us two sitting by the Christmas Tree.
Then I was to drag you under the mistletoe...
But those never happened, you decided not to go.

We're both hesitating to cross that line
So what would it take for you to be mine?
I thought I've done everything I could do
But what I forgot is actually tell you I love you.

That's why you couldn't tell, why you didn't see
That I've loved all the time you spent with me.
I should just come out and say it, "I love you, Ron!"
But I decided to put it off, I'll do it later on.

One night my whole world just came tumbling down
When I spotted you kissing that Lavender Brown.
I suddenly couldn't breathe, chest full of pain
My heart was bleeding, I was going insane.

I don't understand why you would do this
Why, in front of me, must you two kiss?
It hurts, it hurts, was all I could think about
Couldn't take it any longer, I had to get out.

Found a dark room, drowned in my sorrows
I hoped and prayed it would be over tomorrow.
I should've told you, why did I wait?
I've missed my chance, I'm already too late.

I don't remember the rest of that night
I didn't want to relive that painful sight.
For now I will continue to be your friend
Wishing it will be you and me in the end...

(R/Hr)

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[HISTORY:
I tried to redeem myself with the last Hermione poem for Ron. Here it is... I was a bit happier with this one. I think this one captured her feelings a little more.]

Look My Way

I've liked you since the first day
I hoped and wished you'd look my way.
I didn't know what I would say
You just never looked my way.

I've watched and admired you and your talent
I smiled, but you didn't know what it meant.
As your broom came to a slow descent
You saw me in the crowd, not knowing my intent.

I meant to be there so you will see
That there's a girl who's longing to be
Yours forever, only you and me
I will wait for you, this I guarantee.

Now I see you, I catch you looking
Yet you haven't even tried approaching.
Is there something I'm not understanding?
You seem to like me, but we're not talking.

Everyday, my feelings for you grow
And I sincerely want you to know
When you asked me to the ball and I said "No",
Was the one day I admit I've regretted so.

I said I was sorry, and that night I cried
I replayed that moment in my head every night.
Why didn't I wait longer? I should've tried
And now it's tearing up my heart inside.

After that year, I was glad we were closer
We finally had a chance to be together.
I really liked you, I thought you were better
Was it wishful thinking that you'd be mine forever?

We slowly, but surely, drifted apart
I can't take this, have pity on my heart.
I gave it my all, but you didn't do your part,
I had to let you go, I need a fresh start.

Now I'm living my life day after day
Now all I can do is just hope and pray.
I've come to realize, and I'm sad to say
That you will never again look my way.

(Harry/Cho)

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[HISTORY:
This one is Cho talking about Harry. Told you she rebounded right to him. She really did like him, Cedric just happened to be there first.]

Somehow...

You've been my friend, I've been yours
Being with you was all that mattered.
But somehow, as if by strange force,
All my dreams for us were shattered.

I feel like somehow I'm to blame
Within arms length, I kept you near.
My heart is screaming out your name
But somehow, you did not, could not, hear.

You have always been there for me
To me you are more than just a friend.
If you felt the same, somehow I didn't see
Confusing signals you would always send.

In our fourth year, I waited and waited
For you to ask me to the Yule Ball.
Until someone else asked and I debated
If not with you, should I go at all?

I tried to keep my mind off of you.
I went with Viktor and with him I stayed.
Somehow I caught you glancing my way too.
You were there, looking hurt and betrayed.

In our sixth year, sometime in December
I found out something I didn't want to know,
You liked her, you kissed her, and I remember
Mixed emotions as I cast, "Oppugno!"

This is not how I wanted it to be
I thought I was supposed to be smart?
I couldn't believe you'd do that to me!
I never thought you'd break my poor heart.

I feel the warmth of tears from my eyes.
How long will you make me wait?
How long until you finally realize?
Tell me you love me, before it's too late...

(R/Hr)

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[HISTORY:
Another R/Hr shipper poem. Hermione's turn this time, but I didn't particularly like this one. I felt like it didn't really capture her feelings for Ron, so I tried to rewrite (which you'll see later.)]

Always In My Heart

Fighting back the tears
Thinking about all the years
That you haven't been by my side
Countless were the nights I cried.

All this time I've been depressed
I couldn't eat or sleep or rest
I want to move on, I want a fresh start
But your smile is haunting my lonely heart.

I think of you every night and day
I still remember when you looked my way.
Between us was an instant attraction
To me, you made a great first impression.

Your eyes twinkling and your smile charming
I couldn't resist, you were so appealing.
I fell in love when you waved and said hi,
I looked at you and smiled, all shy.

When you asked me to the ball
I felt like the luckiest girl of them all.
In different houses we may be,
But that didn't stop you from noticing me.

Here I go again, staring at your photo
I never ever dreamed of seeing you go.
You being strong, and smart, and true
Is why I fell deeply in love with you.

I hope you're watching me from up above
Because I don't know how to let go of our love.
As I mourn the loss of this boy who was brave,
I drop this flower, and my tears, on this grave...

(Cedric/Cho)

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[HISTORY:
This is Cho's lament for her fallen love. She was Cedric's girl before he died, so she must've been devastated! She quickly rebounded to Harry though, little skank hahaha]

A Sad Farewell

You used to be mean and cruel,
You felt superior to everyone else.
You were always bored in school
So to others, you performed spells.

You were careless and arrogant
You led people to believe
That everything will be better
The moment that you leave.

In the beginning, I didn't like you
But that was a long time ago.
You have turned into a fine man
Far from the boy I used to know.

You changed for the better,
You were dependable and loving.
You were loyal and honest,
My heart you were slowly stealing.

You didn't know I cared for you
I loved you from a distance.
You were oblivious to those around
I didn't even get my chance.

I should've told you I loved you
Now I'm afraid I'm too late.
I should've held you in my arms
Before you met your sad fate.

I hope you can hear me now
I'll tell you this before I cry.
I love you, Mr. Sirius Black
Let this be my final goodbye...

***********************************************
[HISTORY:
This is about Sirius Black. My online friend, Tina, was like in love with the character. She asked me to write one about Sirius. So I wrote this, as if the speaker went to school with him, knew him personally, and loved him. I don't really like this one, but it was the best I could do since I wasn't too attached to Sirius as a character. I didn't even cry when he died. I was just like... oh look, he died. Oh well..]

Pretty Brown Eyes

There he goes again, with his pretty brown eyes
Looking at me lovingly, thinking up his lies.
I try to ignore him, and I go a different way
He's annoying, but somehow his smile makes my day.

He's been trying to get me to notice him
He's so obnoxious, his chances are slim.
He always hangs around his creepy little friends
Most of his time, with those three, he spends.

He thinks he's so cool, playing with the snitch
Always getting in trouble with poor old Mr. Filch.
He's just not someone I'd be proud to call 'mine'
But between love and hate, there is a fine line.

I saw him less as an annoyance, more of a good guy
I saw it when I looked into those pretty brown eyes.
Down by the lake, we spent most of our time
I fell in love with him, he's perfect and so fine.

The days and years pass, and our love grew stronger
Until one day, he asked to be together forever.
I married this fine man, and he's been good to me
We were in love and happy as we'll ever be.

We were blessed with a son, we called him Harry
He was a beautiful baby, strong like daddy.
Little did we know, our happiness will be cut short
By someone who thought killing was a sport.

As the night sky was filled with ominous green light
I was too late and saw James, my love, in a fight.
For that split second, he looked my way
"I love you, and Harry too", he seemed to say.

I looked at my love, I was scared for him
He wanted to reassure me, as things go dim.
He wanted to say everything will be alright
But it was too late, he'd lost the fight.

How could I protect the men of my life?
I was Harry's mother, but also James' wife.
There he goes again, with his pretty brown eyes
He closed them as I cried for the very last time...

(J/L)

***********************************************
[HISTORY:
The ultimate ship. James & Lily forever! Without them, there wouldn't be a Harry Potter. They had a cute, but sad, love story. Together til the end... This was originally called "Pretty Green Eyes", because it was gonna be James' thoughts towards Lily, but it quickly switched to Lily's point of view. I posted it, then I realized it's Lily who had the green eyes, so I switched it to Brown Eyes instead.]

The Song, The Feeling

I sat in my car and heard an old song play again
I remembered that certain someone I had back then.
I remembered the time when he was mine
I reminisced as I listened, line by line...

Got lost in my thoughts, the music came back
I listened again, rewinded that track.
Every note struck chords in my heart
These words, these rhymes, used to tear me apart.

I sang along to this song years ago
I remembered the love I used to know.
This song made me tearful, sad as can be.
As if the words were written just for me.

We thought the feelings would never fade
We planned the future, promises were made,
But just as the rushing river dries after years
The feelings changed, didn't even bring tears.

The hope that we're meant to be has long been gone
I searched for that old feeling, but I found none.
I've realized this song doesn't affect me like before
I remember the words, but not the feeling anymore.

***********************************************
[HISTORY:
Sounds familiar? Maybe it's because I based this on the song by Joey Albert, "I Remember The Boy". It's not really plagiarism because I'm fully crediting the song and singer for this one. I just sort of personalized it, but I got the idea while listening to the song in my car one day. It describes my situation with THE EX. I honestly don't remember the feeling anymore. I don't remember how it felt. It was as if the whole thing was a dream, with no real feelings. He was more like an acquaintance, not an intimate partner. How did it last 7 years when there was nothing strong holding us together?]

Broken Dream

Life is full of pain and sorrow
But I know it will be better tomorrow.
Love will always come and go
Love will be mine again, I know.

Sometimes, I'm saddened by all of this
The thought that now I won't be his.
The thought that now we'll never kiss.
I know that's what I'll surely miss.

Countless times he has lied.
Countless nights I have cried.
How many times have I tried,
To fill this empty space inside?

I denied what I now see as inevitable
Did not want to do something regrettable.
Working things out became impossible.
Losing you was, I thought, unimaginable.

To myself, I would always say
That love will come back to me someday.
I'm hoping my heart will find a way
To love again, and this I pray.

Things aren't always what they seem
We looked happy, but it was routine.
As the tears start to flow like a stream
I know it's time to stop chasing this broken dream...

***********************************************
[HISTORY:
Aaahhhh, still about THE EX. I wrote the whole poem around the last line, because it was something I told my friend while we were chatting on Yahoo. This is after THE EX and I parted ways, but still sort of seeing each other. I said I needed to stop chasing this broken dream, the dream that in the end, it could still work out. What was I thinking?]

You Don't Belong To Me

I’m the youngest to play Pro-Quidditch
But my heart was stolen by a young witch
She is great, she is smart, and very sweet
I waited for the day we’d officially meet.

See I was invited for an event at her school
I accepted, thinking, this event I’d rule.
I walked in there, sure and proud
That was when I noticed her in the crowd.

Although I was surrounded by many girls
I noticed her, with her books and her curls
I was always hanging around the library
I know she’ll bump into me eventually.

But I just couldn’t wait any longer
So I decided to just go up to her
I let our my feelings, once and for all
I asked her to go with me to the ball.

She looked at me, somewhat hesitating
She wasn’t sure because she was waiting
She was waiting for another to ask her out
But it seemed she was having her doubts.

So finally she agreed to go with me
At the Yule Ball, she walked in gracefully.
She was the most beautiful girl there
I couldn’t have picked anyone better.

Yet I noticed, she was very distracted
Watching a boy whose hair glowed fiery red
In her eyes, I saw her longing
For that someone she can’t help loving.

The term ended, how I wished I could stay
I asked her to write me everyday
She promised to write, an owl she would send
And she said she liked me, but only as a friend

I wish things will turn out just fine
I wish she will love me, and be mine.
But even if I used many potions and spells
I know she’s in love with somebody else.

(K/Hr)

***********************************************
[HISTORY:
Another HP ship. Victor Krum and Hermione's story was cute. This is Krum talking about his feelings towards the one girl he actually liked. I thought it was cool, an international Quidditch player fell in love with lil ol' Hermione.]

Nothing

In my heart, I feel nothing
I feel empty deep inside
Gone were the days we were happy
The love between us has died.

I thought about our years together
Even then, my eyes stayed dry
I sat as I stared out the window
My eyes just didn’t want to cry.

For so long, I’ve been guessing
Were you still in love? I didn’t know
I’ve tried and tried to make things better
But you didn’t let your feelings show.

I tried everything to make it work
But you were a fool to believe
That I would stay despite your apathy
That I would be here and never leave.

I must admit I wasn’t shocked nor shaken
When you said your love for me has gone
I guess I’ve known it all this time
You expected a reaction, but I gave none.

I still feel empty, still nothing
Even as I watched you walk out the door
You had feelings for me once, you said
But you’re just not in love with me anymore.

You said you were working on bringing it back
Because you didn’t want to lose me.
I said love is not forced, it is not a task
So just let it happen, just let it be.

Should our paths cross again the future
And we find ourselves in love once again
Then we’ll know we’re destined to be together
But for now, this pointless game needs to end.

***********************************************
[HISTORY:
Towards the end of my relationship with THE EX. I guess it was when we had THE TALK. You know, about our feelings, or lack of it, yada yada yada... I felt nothing anymore. Sure sign that it was time to let it go...]

I Don't Care

We used to always be together
We used to hang out and be silly
I used to see you as a dear friend
And you, too, felt the same for me.

I thought we’d always be this way
Until something inside me changed.
I felt something stir inside
This new feeling I had was strange.

I tried to dismiss whatever it was
Thinking if I did, it would go away
The more I fought this new feeling
The more it decided to stay.

I srt of didn’t want to think
That for you I was falling
But I couldn’t keep it to myself
To you, I revealed this feeling.

But you said it’ll never work out
You said it just couldn’t be
So you pretended I said nothing
You stayed away from me.

I was hurt and it showed
My patronus took a new form
Others also took notice
They it wasn’t the norm.

Until one day I broke down
I yelled that I loved you.
I said I didn’t care what you were
That’s the promise of a love so true.

You said I’m not safe with you
You’re only worried for my sake
Tears filled my eyes and I told you
You’re the risk I’m willing to take.

(L/T)

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[HISTORY:
I don't know why I felt compelled to write this one. This is for the Lupin/Tonks ship. Of course, this only came about in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I just thought it was cute...]

So Close, and Yet So Far

Six years I’ve known you
Six years you’ve been there
But why is it so difficult
To tell you how much I care?

First year together was bad
All we did was bicker and fight
But in the end, with our best friend,
I saw you in a different light.

Once, when I heard you get insulted
I defended you and endured
Disgusting effect of a spell that backfired
And you were there until I was cured.

I think of you as a great friend
My true feelings for you, I deny
That is why I was overly jealous when
You went to the ball with another guy.

I wished it was me with you there
So I sulked and didn’t have fun
That was when I finally realized
For me, you were the one.

It hurt to think of you with him
The thought of you kissing another
My heart was crushed, and i was lonely
So I turned to Lavender.

But soon I knew she wasn’t enough
It was you who I really wanted
I know it, and you know it
Why did I take you for granted?

At night, I look up at the sky
And I wish upon a star
That I get to be with the girl I love
Who’s close, but yet so far…

(R/Hr)

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[HISTORY:
My next installment of HP shipper poem. This one is my all time fave ship, Ron/Hermione. So much sexual tension between them two since the beginning, that you HAD to see it coming. This shows Ron's feelings towards Hermione.]

Finally

The first time I saw you
It was at the train station
My heart was overflooded,
With all kinds of emotions.

I found you very attractive
Indeed, very good looking
Later, I would learn
You’d be my life’s meaning.

First you saved my life
On our first year together
But, I wonder, was it for me?
Or the school? Or my brother?

You treated me like a sister
But I saw you as my hero.
I’ve loved you secretly
It hurt that you didn’t know.

I turned to others and tried
To fill this empty space
But none of them was enough
What I wanted was your embrace.

I sat and watched you goggle
Over a girl who didn’t deserve you
I sat and watched you get hurt
So now will you notice me too?

Over the course of some tragic events
My feelings for you grew stronger
I thought I’d be able to hide it
But I couldn’t fight much longer.

I wanted to grab you, and kiss you
And say what I wanted to say.
That after all these years of knowing you
My childhood crush never went away.

But YOU grabbed me, and YOU kissed me
And my heart overflowed with joy
Finally, you noticed I was here all along.
I realized I was madly in love with this boy.

My waiting and patience paid off
I love you, and now you love me.
Now that you’re here by my side
I’m as happy as I’ll ever be...

(H/G)

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[HISTORY:
This is my first Harry Potter "shipper" poem. I've always sailed the Harry/Ginny (or H/G) ship. After I read the 6th book, this pretty much wrote itself. I was so proud of myself when I wrote this... If you're a Harry Potter fan, you'd totally get this. My little online friends surely did hahaha]

Ikaw Pa Rin

Mula nang ikaw ay lumisan
Ako’y labis na nasaktan
Wala man lang idinahilan
Kung bakit ang puso ko’y sinugatan.

Pinilit kong magmahal ng iba
Ngunit di pa rin naging masaya.
Ang puso ko’t kaluluwa
Hanap ay ikaw pa rin sinta.

Paano nahantong sa ganito?
Pag-ibig na akala ko’y totoo?
Ang isinisigaw ng puso ko
Walang iba kundi pangalan mo.

Kay bilis nagdaan ng panahon
Sana’y bumalik pa ang kahapon
Hiling ko lang sa Panginoon
Bigyan tayo muli ng pagkakataon.

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[HISTORY:
I realized that I never wrote a Tagalog poem. So, here it is, my first Tagalog poem, in all its corniness...]

Free

Eyes blurry with tears
Wiping make up as it smears
My heart is sobbing here
And I don’t care who will hear.

I wasn’t really ready to find
That my love has gone blind
But this is the last time
That I’ll claim you to be mine.

I gave my all to you
Did everything I could do.
Still, you thought it was untrue
You left and took your love with you.

What I am thankful for
As I watch you walk out my door
I learned to love myself even more
Something I should’ve done before.

Thank you for making me see
What I have deep inside of me
I let you go, I let it be
Thanks to you, I am now free.

***********************************************
[HISTORY:
As you can see, I started to feel free. Free from all the bullshit of the relationship with THE EX. Feeling a lot better...]

Redundant

Why do we pretend?
Pretend nothing’s wrong
Pretend all is fine
Just leave things alone.

Every morning of every day
We kiss goodbye and on we go
At night when we get home
We see each other and kiss hello.

Round and round in circles it seems
Life revolving round this stupid routine
Can’t shake off this bad dream
Redundant our lives have been.

Most of the time, we are apart
Enjoying things, but not with each other
Excitement in our relationship
Is gone, has faded altogether.

What has happened to us?
We used to be so happy, so connected.
Somewhere along the way, it changed
This is not at all what I expected.

Round and round in circles it seems
I can’t keep doing this stupid routine
Our love has ceased to be evergreen
Redundant our life together has been...

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[HISTORY:
Inspired by another HP fan, who was also a Green Day fan (many of my little online friends at the time were Green Day fans), so she asked me if I can write something similar to the song, Redundant. Here is my version of Redundant, which is about THE EX. This is when I starting to get tired of US...]

Obsession, Part 2

That first time I saw you I knew
No one else was meant for me but you
You smiled, and took me by surprise
I loved those cute wrinkles by your eyes
Your face was what I longed to see
And so I stared at you all lovingly.
Each word and laugh, I’m charmed
How I wish I could hold you in my arms.
I know you’re lovely and ever so sweet
I long for the day we’d finally meet.
I’ve never felt this way, it’s all so new
Have I fallen deeply in love with you?
You’re very charming and seem so much fun
I think you’re all of my dreams rolled into one.

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[HISTORY:
Another poem about my obsessive crush on Oliver Phelps. I posted this on several "phelps twins" website and forums.]

(untitled)

So many things I want to say
If only I can find a way
To let you know what’s in my heart
But I just don’t know where to start.
From the moment you said you loved me
I knew I’ve already fallen deeply
But I was afraid to take the risk
Then you slowly kissed my lips
I pulled away when I saw him looking
Heartbroken, but understanding
He knew he never really had me
So he decided to set me free.
When I was with him, he knew,
That my heart belonged to you.
See I thought there was no chance
For you and i to have romance
I felt foolish when I cried
When it was really me who tried
To dismiss your feelings so quick
Not giving you the chance to speak
I told you I didn’t love you
I told you I didn’t need you
But now as I gaze into your eyes
I wish you see through all my lies
What I want is for you to be mine
From now until the end of time...

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[HISTORY:
This is untitled because it isn't really about anyone. This was based on a fantasy I had - made up story if you will - about a love triangle. A girl falls in love with a boy, but she was already with his brother. From the beginning, she loved this boy, but thought the brother was the better boyfriend... She thought the brother was sweeter, he was always there, and he made her happy. However, the boy professes his love for her, and she said she couldn't, since she was with his brother. One night, at a party, he asked to dance with her so they can talk. Song in the background: Last Chance by Allure. He told her he had to be with her, and it was the last time he would ask. She finally lets go, and they kiss. As they kiss, the brother sees them, but somehow, he already knew it would happen. He knew she loved the other one more. He was hurt, but he had to let her go... This summarizes the story, but it's more detailed in my head.]

Words

At night words fill my head
Right before I go to bed
No matter how much I try
They just won’t leave my mind.
Feelings of frustration show
Wanting to let the world know
How I truly feel deep inside
But not letting my heart guide
At times, my mind is blank and bare
Sometimes I just don’t care
But when I do try to go to sleep
These words begin to creep.
I want to let the words out
Should I write? Or scream and shout?
I grad a pen, and search for paper
And pour my thoughts all over
But sometimes writing just doesn’t do it
For the words are scattered and won’t fit
Why am I trapped by these words?
Like some sort of caged birds?
Tortured inside, forever lonely
Haunted by words for all eternity...

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[HISTORY:
This was inspired by an online friend, who also wrote poems. We were talking about how sometimes there are words swimming in your head, so you try to remember them, but when it comes time to actually write, they disappear. So this is about the words that crowd my mind as I lay awake in bed...]

Nightmare

It was night, I see myself running
Where? I really don’t know
Why? I really can’t say
All I know is that I have to go.

I look ahead and see
Nothing but dark empty space
Feels like I’ve been left behind
Like somehow I’ve lost the race.

Am I running in circles?
I turn left, I turn right,
Like an endless labyrinth
No walls, no end in sight.
Faceless figures I see
Speaking, but with no sense
Looking, but with no eyes,
Applauding, but with no hands
I close my eyes and felt
The torture and mental suffering
Then I felt the sun shining down on me
Finally the world was waking.

Faceless figures start to blur
Their voices begin to fade
It’s a bad dream all along
Just a nightmare I made.

I just imagined all of it
Now to wake up and start anew
But somehow I can’t seem to move
Am I stuck in this bad dream too?

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[HISTORY:
Another attempt in being "dark". I don't know if I'm really achieving what I'm trying to do, but whatever... close enough.]

The Black Death

I have not seen such sorrow, nor such pain
I have not seen insanity until this very day.
The tears, the blood, even the clouds are ominous
In this golden city stricken with the plague.
The frightened faces, the treacherous looks
Roaming the streets are no longer easy
Everyone’s terrified, bewildered, astounded
By this mystery phantom the eyes couldn’t see
Whenever someone took their last breath
The church bell was heard ringing
Ringing and ringing for every lifeless body
So many bodies that it was not stopping.
Every dead body I see, every cry I hear
Every house I pass, I hear a scream.
No singing, no laughter, only grieving is around
Many desperately prayed for this to disappear.
When I was in the deepest of my thoughts,
I heard the bell ring again
All the ringing is tiring my mind
So I too prayed that it would soon end.
One day the ringing finally stopped.
There are no forms of life to be found
No more cries, no more tears, no more lights
And the bell was quiet, 'twas quiet all around...

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[HISTORY:
A few years ago, I entered an online poetry contest. Of course, I didn't win, but I did receive a copy of the "winner" poems. I noticed that all the winners wrote about something dark and depressing, not a fufu one like mine. So this is my attempt at "dark" writing.]

My Addiction

This thing was all around
But it was something I’d never do...
Or so I thought, but then
I was sucked into doing it to.

It was all around me
I couldn’t escape it.
I tried to deny it, but
A friend pushed me into it.

So the first time I tried it,
I was home, all alone.
I locked the door, and waited
For “Harry Potter & The Sorcerer’s Stone”

I watched it, unblinking
From beginning to the end
When it was over, I thought
Hey, I found a new friend!

I watched the second one
Addiction getting bigger
I watched both movies, back to back
I needed something stronger.

After watching the movies
I decided to buy the books.
I read them once, twice, many times!
Since then, I’ve been hooked!

Now, I’m waiting for my “Half Blood Prince”
Impatiently I wonder, what is taking so long?
And that, my friends, is my story
The story of my new addiction.

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[HISTORY:
Based on how I became obsessed with Harry Potter.]

Confined

Locked in
Boxed in
Can’t seem to get out

Stuck here
Trapped here
Can’t you hear me shout?

Words from my mouth
Trying to get out
Why won’t it let me?

Passion inside
Fear in my mind
I just want to be free...

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[HISTORY:
No reason. Just wanted to try one that's non-relationship based...]

My Obsession, Part I

I really don’t know just how I can

Love someone, from afar, like this man.
One day, I’m wishing that you would be
Veering your attention towards me.
Every night I dream of you

On my side, with you loving me too.
Loneliness deep inside my heart
Is eminent knowing we’re so far apart.
Various feelings I need to sort out
Everytime I think, I just want to shout!
Read my thoughts, feel my heart

Please tell me where to start.
How can I let my feelings go?
Each thought of you haunts me so.
Love me, please, love me dear
Please know that I am always here.
Someday, I wish you could see.. just how much you mean to me…

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[HISTORY:
My second Acrostic poem (first was the Valentine one). Guess you can figure out who this is about. Don't ask me why I liked him, I just did, ok?]

Is This Really Love?

I want to thank You Lord for everything
That You've given me since I was born.
I want to thank You for the things You've taught me
Though it seems I have still much to learn.
I want to thank You for teaching me
How to love and be loved by someone.
Though at times it can really be painful
You said forgive and forget what's done.
I'm very thankful for what I have
No matter how big or how small
And in times of needs, I'm glad to know
You would be there when I fall.
Above all things, I'd like to thank You
For my friends, family, and my boy
You've given me a wonderful person
This man I love named Joy.
He's so caring and thoughtful and loving
He's just great in so many ways.
I'll never forget his hugs, kisses, and laughs
I always feel safe in his warm embrace.
But Lord I have another thing to ask
With him, will I shed some tears?
Will my heart get broken into many pieces,
And make each second feel like years?
Can he really be my true love?
Because everything's going so fast.
Oh, Lord I don't want to cry anymore
So will you please make this one last?

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[HISTORY:
Again, this is about THE EX. Guess I was a bit in love when I wrote this...]

Trust

I'm sorry if I don't trust you now
I still don't know why or how
They say love is not jealous, love is trust
Yet I don't know if I really must.
I know you swore you'll leave me never
But what if you find someone else that's better?
Although right now, I'm only seventeen
When I say I love you, I know what I mean.
You promised me that you'll be true.
So many times you said you loved me too.
Call me insecure, paranoid, or crazy
I just don't wanna believe every word you tell me.
I've never had anyone like you before
I sure can't ask for anything more.
You have everything I'm looking for in a guy
I tell you the truth, this is not a lie.
Just prove to me that you've changed your ways
And we'll be together from now and always.
I think about you every night and day
I really love you, be patient and stay.
That's all for now, so please wait
And tell me that it'll never be too late.

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[HISTORY:
This is about THE EX. He always complained that I didn't trust him, so this kinda wrote itself...]

I Love You, My Friend

Loving you was the second best thing I've ever done.
Finding you was the first one.
We had such a good start
I thought we'll never be apart.
You filled my heart with joy in so many ways.
And I've been so happy these past few days.
I cherished each precious moment we shared.
Back then, I thought, you really cared.
When I started to tell you how I feel
You didn't think my feelings were for real.
So you started telling me about someone new.
Someone you said was so right for you.
All I want now is to hold you once again,
To hug, to kiss, to be more than just a friend.
Why can't I get you out of my mind?
These feelings I have for you, is it right?
If not, then I'd rather be wrong to feel this.
All I wanted from you was one more kiss.
Now I feel that maybe loving you IS wrong.
I suddenly feel so lost, so alone.
My friends keep telling me to just give you up
But how can I, when you keep my hopes up?
Tell me where I stand so I'll stop being confused.
I feel so insecure, so worthless, and so used.
I love you so much, don't you understand?
I want you so much to be my man.
If today you give me all these sorrows,
Would you be there to make me happy tomorrow?
If you want to be just friends for now, then it's fine
I'm hoping that someday you'll see me, and ask to be mine.

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[HISTORY:
Oh man... I was so devastated when I was writing this one. Obviously it was about a friend that I sort of fell in love with, thinking I had a chance because we got thisclose, only to find out he had fallen in love with someone else. It was like being stabbed repeatedly...]

A Valentine Poem

Valentine's Day is a day of loving,
A day of hope, a day of sharing
Lovers are seen, together and happy
Everywhere you look, smiling faces are many.
Nobody seems to be lonely or mad,
Though some of us are feeling quite sad.
In the eyes of some, tears are showing
Not everyone on Valentine's are celebrating.
Everyone should be with someone during this time,
So why am I alone on this Valentine??

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[HISTORY:
My first acrostic poem (read first letter of each line)! Valentine poem written on a whim. I don't remember when I wrote it, but it's in my notebook...]

Mistake

The first time I laid my eyes on you
Right there and then I knew
That you were a gift from up above
And you'd be the one I'd always love.
I knew we'd be more than just friends
In my heart, I hoped, it would never end.
I'd always remember your loving stare
To forget about you, I would never dare.
I loved your every single touch
Everything about you, I loved so much.
I was willing to give you everything
My heart, my soul, and all of my feelings.
I gave you everything I thought you wanted
So why did you take my love for granted?
When we fought, I saw in your eyes
The anger, and your voice sounded cold as ice.
But then we'd make up right away
And held each other the rest of the day.
I thought I would soon get over you
Get on with my life, and find someone new.
Forgetting about you, yes I've tried.
But I know, deep inside, I only lied.
I knew you'd always stay in my mind.
I also knew that my love was blind.
I want your love back in my life again.
Or if not, can we at least try to be friends?

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[HISTORY:
OMG! I had to reread the poem to remember who I wrote this for. This was the one no one really met. None of my friends nor family ever met him yet we were together on and off for about 2 years. I kept going back to him even though I met and dated other guys in between. Why such a strong pull when he treated me bad? Was I just that much of a masochist?]

The Tree

Across the street, there was this great big tree,
When I drove to work, I would always see.
I had been watching it since last summer,
And I saw all the things that happened there.
In the spring I saw it bloom
From the window, in my room.
I saw the leaves, all green and bright
Truly, it was a very lovely sight!
Summer came, and the leaves were dancing
To the song of the wind, which I thought was long lasting.
And then at night, the leaves would rest.
I really thought it was the best.
But autumn came, and then it started
All those green leaves turned red.
The leaves left that tree down yonder.
They left, to stay on the ground forever.
The sad winter then came along.
That poor tree, so coldly, stood alone.
No leaves, no flowers, no birds, no songs,
And I wished that spring would soon come along.
One day I woke to find the big tree gone!
I looked and I asked, they've cut it down!
Oh, how I miss that great big tree.
It reminded me of you... before leaving me...

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[HISTORY:
I wrote this when I was 14. I still remember... it was during Ms. Janow's Hospitality & Tourism class, as usual we weren't really doing anything, and when I looked outside, I saw a tree swaying in the gentle wind. I thought of writing about it just for whatever, and towards the end, I realized that a tree's life is a metaphor for a relationship. So I wrote those last 4 lines...]

I Could've Been

I could've been sweet
I could've been thoughtful
I could've been loving
I could've been faithful.

I could've been all these
If only you gave me a chance,
To show you what I can do
To give you romance.

I could give you happiness
And love you with all my heart
I could show you how sad I would be
Whenever we must be apart.

I could never let you down
Or ever hurt your feelings.
Because deep in my heart I know
What really love's meaning.

But you were mean and cruel
And you never treated me right.
But still I longed for you
Everyday and every night.

You thought I never cared
You never showed how you feel
You never showed me you loved me.
Or if your feelings were for real.

But I would still love you
For the rest of my life
And remember all the good times
That we shared for a while.

I could've been beside you
When no one else seemed to care.
I could've been your girl
I always would have been there.

But it's too late now
I know it's all over.
It's now time for goodbye.
I'll be out of your life forever.

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[HISTORY:
Geez.. someone was bitter! Guess this was towards the end when I realized there was nothing I can do. Besides, I was to be thousands of miles away so I might as well let go...]

Wrong Love

I thought hating you was right
Because loving you is wrong.
I don't know what to do
I feel so all alone.

You made me feel loved
In your own special ways.
For me, it meant everything in the world
With you were my happiest days.

The last time we were together,
I wanted time to stop.
So we can stay like this forever
In the clouds, high high up.

But the truth couldn't hide anymore
The truth that I insisted to see.
Now I've realized everything
All the things involving you and me.

I wished this was all a dream
So I could wake up and start a new day.
But it happened, it was all real.
Now, it's too late to get away...

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[HISTORY:
Like I said... SPRUNG. Aaahhh to be young and stupid...]

Say Goodbye

Do you remember those times,
Times that we shared together?
Those times were so much fun
I thought they would last forever.

Whenever you were near me
I felt chills down my spine.
I really loved the way you held me
I thought you were really mine.

When you held my hands,
It was as if no one was around us.
Everyday, I thought about it,
Would it all just stay in the past?

When you held me inside your arms
The feelings got stronger.
Those feelings that imprisoned me
I couldn't fight it much longer.

Each time you whispered in my ears
I heard angels singing.
Each time you looked at me,
I felt so relieved.

Relieved that you were there
Not leaving my side.
But I guess it wouldn't always happen
I had to say goodbye.

I admit that I'm missing you
Since we're so far apart.
There's one thing I promise you
You'll forever stay in my heart...

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[HISTORY:
Still about the same boy as previous poem. The same goes for the next 2... why was I so sprung about something that BARELY happened?]

Forbidden Lovers

Everyday and every night
I wondered if you really loved me
I thought, and I thought, then I decided
That I would just wait and see.

People around us noticed it
Since that very first time.
All the things that we did,
All would stay in my mind.

Those same people got between us
But I won't mention any names.
At first, they thought we were just playing,
They thought it was all a game.

But we kept on showing the world
That something, indeed, was happening.
They forced me to tell them,
I said, "It's just the beginning..."

Ever since they found out, I was shocked
When they started threatening me.
I couldn't touch you, or go near you
Because they were watching me.

But honey, I've realized now
That we are forbidden lovers.
I don't know how, or when
I will accept that it's over.

Everything we have done
Our memories, our sweet history
I know I will keep it inside
I will always bring it with me.

I have one more question before I go
We both know this is not the end.
So even if we are far apart,
Will you still be my friend?

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[HISTORY:
My first poem. Obviously this was written about a boy. From a lifetime ago. From a different world. About a boy I couldn't be with because of our age and because it was just a different life back then. I wish I can see him now and see if we can pick up where we left off... Ha! Ya right! I bet he's now married with plenty of kids...]